Because Of You
by kimberella - emo princess
Summary: Looking back on their relationship with another digi destined.. can their love be reunited?


disclaimer: I do not own digimon or "Because of you" - 98 degrees  
  
note: this story contains yaoi.. probably about PG 13... the couple isn't hard to figure out, well, actually there could be a few possibilities… arg… and.. what did I just say. I'm confusing myself!.. but I'm not going to mention their names its more fun for me ^_^.. enjoy  
  
Because of You  
  
You never know how much you love somebody until they're gone. That's my life story. All through my life, people I wasn't sure I cared about at all have left. It was then that I realized how much I needed them. It all started when I was very young. I had wished that a certain person would disappear and then one day he did. Never to come back. Later on in my life, I lost another of my dear friends, but miraculously he returned to me. And most recently I have lost the person who meant the most to me. He left my life just as fast as her entered.  
  
When he entered my life, I had nothing but hate for him. But the hate soon turned to intrigue. I wanted to know everything possible about this boy. His strengths and weaknesses, his scent and sight and mostly his desires.  
  
It wasn't long after that I befriended him. We were practically inseparable, always together, doing anything and everything.  
  
It was one fateful night that changed out friendship, for the better. He was sleeping over at my house, and we were playing around, wrestling and fighting. He pinned me on the ground, and we sat there awkwardly. I tried to away but he wouldn't let me. He leaned closer to me, my eyes opened wide. I wasn't sure what he thought he was doing. Then he kissed me. My eyes instinctively closed. The kiss was short and light. When he lifted his face from mine, he looked so confident, and yet pleading for my approval. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but I liked it. So I pulled him closer to me once more.  
  
After that night, our relationship went deeper. It was soon learned that I was his one desire. And its shocked me. I didn't know why anyone would want me. But as he described it, I was everything he needed. Whatever that was.  
  
Time went on, we had been best friends for 4 years, but lovers forever. Or so I thought.  
  
When our relationship first started, we could do no wrong. Everything around us was perfect, we always wanted to be in each other's company. I cared about him deeply. But it was hard for me to get emotionally close to anyone. He would pour out his secrets, his dreams and anything else on his mind. And all I could do was listen. I know that he appreciated my listening, but I feel that he wanted me to confide in him aswell. But it wasn't that easy.  
  
It wasn't long after he moved in, that we began to drift apart. I thought everything was alright, but little did I know that he was getting lonely.   
  
Our relationship ended one foul day. He caught me off guard by a question that I definitely wasn't ready for.  
  
"Do you love me?" He asked.  
  
I had no reply. I cared for him, I liked being with him. But love was a whole different thing, wasn't it?  
  
He nodded silently. A tear escaped down his face, as he turned and walked away. He came back for his belongings. He said that he was going to stay with his sister. And if I ever stopped being so selfish to give him a call.  
  
Selfish. It was not what I was trying to be. Not at all. In fact all I had ever wanted to do was put his needs before mine. But sometimes it was impossible. I was not an open person. It was hard for me to share my feelings. And I had hoped he would understand that. But now I know that instead of shy, I came across as rude and unloving. That is the last thing I wanted to be.  
  
It's been only a month and I am rotting away. My mind is forever conversing different topics, and yet all I can think of his him. His sweet smile, and soft touch.   
  
"He deserves so much better" I thought, "Someone who can admit they love him. Someone who isn't afraid of loving him." It was then I had a revelation. I knew exactly why I couldn't tell him I love him. I was afraid. Afraid, because everyone I love ends up leaving me. And he is gone anyway.   
  
I got no sleep that night. I was awake, thinking about how much I loved him. It wasn't something I could stop, nor could I hold it back. I quickly snatched a piece of paper and a pen and took down some notes:  
  
"You're my sunshine, after the rain.  
You're my cure against my fear and my pain.  
'Cause I'm losing my mind when you're not around  
It's all because of you.  
  
Baby I really know by now  
Since we met that day  
You showed me the way  
I felt it then you gave me love I can't describe  
How much I feel for you  
I said baby I should have known by now  
Should have been right there whenever you gave me love  
And if only you were here  
I'd tell you  
  
Honestly, could it be you and me  
Like it was before neither less or more  
"Cause when I close my eyes at night  
I realize that no on else could ever take your place  
I still can feel it's so unreal  
When you're touching me kisses endlessly  
It's just a place in the sun where our love's begun  
I miss you  
  
If I knew how to tell you what's on my mind  
(Make you understand)  
Then I'd always be there right by your side  
  
You're my sunshine, after the rain.  
You're my cure against my fear and my pain.  
'Cause I'm losing my mind when you're not around  
It's all because of you."  
  
I put the pen down, and looked at what I had written. It seemed to express everything I was feeling. I searched for an envelope. I placed it in the small envelope, put on the stamp and addressed it. I walked out to the mailbox at 2:00 that morning. I hoped that if I mailed it right away, it could get to its destination in a day or two.  
  
Three days later, I arrived at his sister's apartment complex. Soaking wet from the rain. I pressed the intercom button baring his last name.  
  
He answered it swiftly.  
"What do you want?" The harsh voice came through.  
My voice caught in my throat, I had forgotten all the words I had planned out so well.   
"Did you write this letter?" He asked seriously.  
"Uh… yes. I wrote it." I said shyly, remembering I had forgot to sign my sonnet.  
  
I expected the worst. For him to laugh in my face. And tell me that he could never forgive me. But what happened was just the opposite.  
  
The doors to the large complex swung open. He came through them, walking in the rain. And before I knew it I was wrapped in a strong hug. It lasted for only a few seconds, they he pulled away slightly. He looked deep into my eyes, the same way he had the first time he kissed me.  
  
"It took you a little while. But I knew you'd come around." He said, then he leaned in, slowly and pressed his lips against mine.   
  
We both stood there kissing, as the rain poured down onto our heads. By the time the kiss ended we were soaking wet. Neither of us cared. We shared another sweet, sugary kiss.  
  
Now the proverb of my life has ended. I have found someone to love, who I know will never leave me, as long as I realize my own love for him.  
  
_____  
  
So.. ya.. anyway... read and review please ^_^   
  
«V»  



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